Dear Joshua

My sweet husband,

Where do I even begin? I guess I’ll start by telling you I love you. I know you know this, but this is just your daily reminder. Let me tell you why.

I love you because you take care of me. Whether I’m sick, emotional, or facing some sort of problem, you’re always there to make sure I’m taken care of. I love you because you support me. Whatever crazy ideas or endeavors I come up with, you’re right there to cheer me on. I love you because you’re willing. I ask some crazy and silly things of you sometimes, and generally, you go along with them. You’re willing to do things, even outside of your comfort zone, simply because I ask you to. I love you because of your sense of humor. I couldn’t even begin to count the times we’ve sat and laughed until we cried with each other. I love your paternal instincts. I completely and utterly melt anytime I watch you interact with children, especially our nephew. These tiny glimpses at the kind of father you’ll be are exactly why I fight so hard to make you one. I love your passion. Whenever you do something, you do it 110%. You’re driven and hard-working, and I’m so inspired by it. I love you, because you’re you. The Lord designed you perfectly for me in His image, and I’m so grateful for that.

I know this infertility thing isn’t easy. It’s changed the both of us. Mostly for the better. We both have grown exponentially in our relationships with the Lord. But it’s changed us in other ways, too. Like the way the corners of your mouth now turn downward when you hear the news of the pregnancy of someone we know. I don’t know when we will get to announce our own pregnancy, or when our journey will be over. What I do know, is that I wouldn’t want to be on this journey with anyone else.

One day I’m going to watch you become a father. I’m going to see joy spread across your face as you lay eyes on our child for the very first time. I’ll watch you gaze into the eyes of a tiny human as you nervously hold them for the first time. I’ll watch you grow into the amazing father I know you’ll be as you learn to bathe, clothe, and care for the child we waited so long for. I’ll get to sit back blissfully and watch you run around the house with a squealing toddler. I’ll watch anxiously as you teach our children to ride their bikes. I’ll sit nervously with you when our children leave for college. I’ll celebrate with you when they each get married. And I’ll rejoice with you the day we become grandparents.

Until then, we just have to wait. Impatiently, faithfully, and prayerfully. I know we will receive our blessing. I know this, because the Lord has told me we will. When that day finally comes, I don’t know that anything else will top that. So even when things are tough and I’m falling apart, I’ll lean on you because you’re my rock and you get me through those times. When things are exciting, I will celebrate and rejoice with you as we praise God for the blessings he’s given us. Above all, I will continue to love you as your wife and your best friend because that’s my current role, and one that I love to fill.

Thanks for waiting with me,

Your wife

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